On the first day of school I gave my students an assignment. I asked them to please write a paragraph in which they tell me two things that their English teacher should know about them. I did receive the usual assortment of student pledges to try to do their best, but here and there I found some honest little gems. Here are some glorious highlights. They are quite revealing.
From a senior boy:
I like doing my work in class, but not outside of class. I don't like teachers screaming at me.
From a senior boy:
One thing that my teacher should know about me is that I'm very lazy but this year, I will really try. I also like to mess around but not this year. And I don't like when teachers get on my case. I don't mess with them if they don't bug me. I'm just going to do my work and pass the class.
From a senior boy:
Two things that the teacher should know are that I'm lazy sometimes. And I'm not a hard worker.
From a senior boy:
You should know I sort of slack off. But I am capable of doing the work. Also, I am a smart person and I know it. I just need to focus.
From a senior boy:
Well I am going to be truthful about a couple of things. First of all, that I'm pretty lazy. I will rarely do any homework. The second thing about me is that I do not like when people talk about drugs, when I'm around. Those are the things that I feel that my English teacher should know about me.
From a senior boy:
OK, let's see, well, two things that my teacher should know about me are my work habits and a problem with my attendance. I tend to miss a large amount of work not because I'm lazy, but because of my lack of attendance.
From a senior girl:
First, I think you should know that I'm pregnant. The reason you should know this is that I will probably be absent just a little often. Maybe, because I have to attend my doctor's appointment. I do try to schedule them on Saturdays, but it is not always possible. I'm tired of school, I just changed to C. track. So I didn't have any vacation.
From a senior boy:
One thing that my teacher should know is that I sleep a lot in class, but I do my work when I have to. The second thing the teacher should know is that I sometimes do not do my homework or class work.
From a senior boy:
Two things the teacher should know about me are: I don't like to work. And I don't listen to what you say, so don't tell me what to do OK?
From a senior girl:
One of the things you should know about me is that I'm very stubborn and hardheaded. Things have to be my way, always! Another thing is that I could be very talkative and rude. There may be times when I don't care what you say and zone you out.
From a senior boy:
I like to have fun and I'll do my work, not all the time, but I will do it. I'll try my best in all my classes. I like to just kickback.
From a sophomore boy:
I don't like to do essays and other long stories, because I have a short attention span. If I'm not into it, I won't do it. I like to paint and skate and play on my guitar. But sometimes I'll even read some things, but that's just if it turns into a movie. The last book I read was carried Potter number three. Since then, I been reading mags and stuff like Thrasher and Transworld, stuff like that.
From a sophomore boy:
The teacher should know that if someone gets on my nerves. I will say something to him or maybe I will do something to him. I don't like to participate in anything. I don't like English, because I never did.
From a sophomore boy:
I'm a quiet person, so when you ask if I have any questions. I probably won't say anything even though I don't understand. Another thing is I might accidentally cuss out some words. So yeah, that's about it.
From a sophomore boy:
I like to play around a lot. What I'm doing my work and someone says something. I will probably say something stupid. Another thing is that you need to know about me is that I will probably be tired and will probably fall asleep or rest my head. Maybe I won't do this, but I think I might.
From a sophomore boy:
Two things that my English teacher should know about me is that I'm very lazy. I'm lazy and I don't like to write a lot. I'm not a nice person. Another thing that my English teacher should know about me is I have a big mouth.
From a sophomore boy:
Two things the teacher should know about me are sometimes I may do some work and sometimes I may not. Another thing he should know is I like to listen to music. When there is nothing to do in class.
From a sophomore boy:
The two things my teacher should know about me is that I don't like quizzes. Cause quizzes are hard. And the other thing is, the teacher should not talk a lot, because then it gets boring in the classroom. And that's when I fall asleep all the time. It's when the teacher talks a lot.
From a sophomore girl:
Two things that my English teacher should know about me are that I hope that this class won’t be boring, because then I stop listening and I won't know what's happening in the class. Another thing is that I'm a really nice girl and I know how to behave.
From a sophomore boy:
One thing that my English teacher should know about me is that I don't talk a lot. I could be very quiet. But when I get bored, I intend to talk to my friends. Another thing my English teacher should know about me is that I don't like to participate all the time.
From a sophomore girl:
I play basketball for the school. I really do like playing basketball. I see myself playing for the WNBA. The second thing is that in the future I want to work for the FBI. I know that seems we but ever since I saw the movie the bone collector, I wanted to work for the FBI.
From a sophomore boy:
One thing that my teacher should know about me is that I will do my work, but sometimes I get distracted by my friends and I end up not doing the work that my teacher has assigned to me. That is one thing you should know about me. Another thing is that I could get mad because I fail a test.
From a sophomore girl:
What my English teacher should know about me is that I'm a very mean girl. I like to scream. I like to laugh a lot, and out loud. I like to be around my friends, because when I'm around my friends. I do my work, because I feel like I'm not alone.
From a sophomore boy:
One of the two things that my English teacher should know about me is that I write sloppy. I guess that I write sloppy because I write fast and I don't go back to make corrections. The other thing is that I'm lazy and sometimes I don't feel like doing my work, and I take a long time doing it.
From a sophomore boy:
Two things my teacher needs to know about me are that I might be late to class very frequently. And I might be absent most of the time.
From a sophomore girl:
Two things I would want my teacher to know are that sometimes I like to talk to my friends. Mostly all the time, and that sometimes I like to annoy them. Also, that I like to make friends, lots of them. The way I make friends is to talk to them and annoy them at the same time sometimes.
From a senior boy:
There aren't many things that offend me. But I can't stand an ass hole. Hopefully, you are not an ass hole. Also I like to write in caps, but if that's a problem I will go ahead and write correctly. Keep in mind, I write more legibly in caps. I have high hopes for this class. I will try not to be a problem as long as you are not an ass hole.
From a senior boy who failed the class last year:
The two things that my English teacher should know is, when I hear music, I will do my work. The other thing is that I'm going to do my work and not talk. I will do my work now, because I have to.
From a senior boy:
You leave me alone, and I'll leave you alone. Respect me and I'll respect you back. That's it. Those are the two things that the teacher needs to know. I could be very friendly or a big bitch.
From a senior girl:
Well, the two things my English teacher should know about me are that sometimes I'm not able to make it to class on time. The other thing is that I'm not really much into English or into anything related with school. But I do try my best to like things that are going to bring me good things in the future.
From a senior boy:
The first thing is that I am a lazy ass. And the second is that my English is not too good.
Gosh, Phil! Why are they so open about being lazy? Are they proud of it? I'm amazed. Maybe they're ashamed, but the poor things have never been trained to work, and they're know they're handicapped at this point. Very sad.
Posted by: Pam | September 25, 2004 at 09:14 PM